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What are you doing?

Topic created · 22 Posts · 1462 Views
  • I have lost sense of what I am doing. Day starts. Newspaper is tough to go thru. I read few pages from a book or two or a topic of optional. Continue to feel insecure of where I stand. Don't feel sure about anything in my uhh... fifth and what might actually - in all likelihood - will turn into sixth attempt. Don't have competence with writing mains answers. The basic books also disinterest now - which partially explains my performance in this year's and last year's prelims. The first two that I managed to clear seemed like I prepared and I cleared. Now I know things - more deeply and with better clarity - but probably have become incompetent. Now I don't even know why I am preparing for this exam. Have given so many bank POs and RBIs and LICs and what not. Failed at all. Sometimes by margins, many a times - specially when it comes to quant in those bank exams - I am almost like not even in race. Not good for anything. Don't know what do I want from my day. But it ends. Repeatedly. Week after week. Months on. And I keep wondering looking at a very bleak tomorrow. What am I doing? Why?

  • Can anybody please start me up on this exam from the very start? why are you doing it? what does the prep entails? what lies beyond it? I am lost.

    TIA

  • @Charlie Bro it is genuinely difficult to study the same things over and over again. Don't blame yourself. I also feel you shouldn't think much during this crucial period. Like I read somewhere on this forum itself, your only goal now should be to write 20 answers in 3 hours. Anything else, take them off your mind.

    For better accountability, maintain a google sheet with the number of hours you study and share it with someone you respect like your father, mother or your elder brother or sister. Ask them to give you an ok message at the end of the day. You may let down yourself easily or not meet your goals but you will try very hard to not let them down. This works. All the best.

  • @Charlie said in What are you doing?:

    I have lost sense of what I am doing. Day starts. Newspaper is tough to go thru. I read few pages from a book or two or a topic of optional. Continue to feel insecure of where I stand. Don't feel sure about anything in my uhh... fifth and what might actually - in all likelihood - will turn into sixth attempt. Don't have competence with writing mains answers. The basic books also disinterest now - which partially explains my performance in this year's and last year's prelims. The first two that I managed to clear seemed like I prepared and I cleared. Now I know things - more deeply and with better clarity - but probably have become incompetent. Now I don't even know why I am preparing for this exam. Have given so many bank POs and RBIs and LICs and what not. Failed at all. Sometimes by margins, many a times - specially when it comes to quant in those bank exams - I am almost like not even in race. Not good for anything. Don't know what do I want from my day. But it ends. Repeatedly. Week after week. Months on. And I keep wondering looking at a very bleak tomorrow. What am I doing? Why?

    Hi @Charlie ,

    I can completely understand what you're going through right now . I too have failed multiple times ( in prelims itself ) . However, i've managed to overcome that depressing phase . Based on my personal experience i'd like to suggest you a few things :

    ● Don't judge yourself constantly for what you've done . Don't be too strict on yourself . Be willing to accept and learn from your mistakes.

    ● Be a little inward looking. kaun kya kar raha hai etc shouldn't be a matter of concern for you.

    ● People will always have something to say , IAS ban jaao gaey fir bhi kahengaey .
    Don't pay heed to what people say.

    ● Most imp thing that i've learnt is : LET GO OF THE PAST ; TAKE CHARGE OF THIS MOMENT .

    ● Don't consider yourself a failure in life because you are not. Don't ever say that " i'm good for nothing" . Positive views rakho apne baare me.

    ● July start he hua hai , nai shuruaat karo. abhi peak time hai mains ki preperation Karen ka. ye time nikal gaya toh bahaut nuksaan hoga .

    ● Abhi se regular raho , iss saal prelims nahi bhi hua toh next year accha rank aae ga he agar abhi se acchey se pdhai ki .

    Bas ek state of mind hai , overcome kar lo jitna jaldi ho sakey. Ek baat yaad rakho bas INWARD LOOKING + FORWARD LOOKING ( yet myopic , focus on today only and not on final result ) + Only you can help yourself. Take charge of this moment.

    Bhai, this is the crux of my 3 years of preperation . I hope it can help you. strategy wise I have nothing to say because I too have failed repeatedly.

    Take care . Be happy .

  • @Moonlight bhai how many times did u fail in pre and what your story would love to take some inspiration from your story

  • @Charlie said in What are you doing?:

    Have given so many bank POs and RBIs and LICs and what not. Failed at all. Sometimes by margins, many a times - specially when it comes to quant in those bank exams - I am almost like not even in race.

    i relate with every word of this. and i realised this was affecting my upsc preparation very badly. because of lack of interest in revising and re-revising for UPSC, i would wander towards other exams. but for prelims you need to internalise the study material. mere mugging up wont be enough. so I always end up on border situation after prelims which affects mains which i havent cleared even once though ive written it twice with a static optional like zoology. so the solution that i came up with was as follows :

    1. narrow down the backup exams to 2 max
    2. never stop studying for upsc - prelims and mains both.
    3. keep appearing for tests. when you force your brain to think it helps in better memory formation and the solution of tests will keep the concepts fresh in your mind.

    another thing i realised was that there are two broad type of exams.. GS related like upsc, state PCS and Banking related exams. If you mix and match them then its difficult for your brain to get used to the requirement of the exam.

    If you continue giving just banking exams over time your speed, accuracy, quant, LR automatically gets better.
    If you continue giving just GS based exams overtime your concepts will become crystal clear.

    Mixing them keeps takes the edge out from your preparation and with at the most 1% people clearing any given exam, you simply cannot hope to crack it without being thorough with the requirements of the said exam.

    What you wrote resonates 99% with me. You can DM me if you wanna talk. I hope what i wrote helps.

    D_HzX-VWwAIn3YO.jpg

  • @Freakhoto said in What are you doing?:

    @Moonlight bhai how many times did u fail in pre and what your story would love to take some inspiration from your story

    So kind of you to say that 🙏 , par inspiration jaisa kuch hai nahi meri journey me . I've failed prelims twice and won't be surprised if I fail this time as well.

  • @Moonlight I saw your daily targets comment and have started posting as I am becoming inefficient as resukt is just around the corner. You would win the battle this time !

  • @Akkku said in What are you doing?:

    @Moonlight I saw your daily targets comment and have started posting as I am becoming inefficient as resukt is just around the corner. You would win the battle this time !

    Yaar , there's no use of speculating about result date . Such discussions are a waste of time . Chill .
    And thanks a lot for good wishes.

  • It's my third attempt.
    Went to interview in last attempt. But missed by margin due to poor mains score.

    Had a break up after last mains, where girl friend cheated on me with an office colleague , while I was preparing hard for my mains. She just left me saying " you are career oriented and never took care of me", while in first case she came after me, seeing my interest towards civils. Went into depression, but recovered some how during interview prep.

    But all my intensity is lost. I mean I was just existing. Left a very bright career in the field I love for achieving something bigger in life. Gave my everything in last attempt, studying from home, but it's just not enough.

    Ran away from home to Delhi , because now I don't feel like studying at all and in Delhi there will be inspiring crowd.
    Joined test series , putting all my savings so that external stimulation can drive me.

    I don't just feel like studying at all... The same things again and again...I hate this city... This cock roach life... like daily I'm cheating myself bluffing myself that I'm studying but deep down I know I'm not giving 50% of what I gave last time. I can't go back and I'm not moving forward. It's like I'm stuck.. There is no way out... All my friends are in very good positions in thier lives...
    I took a risk and screwed everything..

    I just hope I get some motivation.. some drive.. The focus and intensity I used to have once...I can barely concentrate for 5 min.. And later stuck in angry vicious thoughts of that girl who cheated on me...

    Before sleeping I'll be true to myself in this forum... Being anonymous....

  • @Valar_morghulis Even i am in the same cycle even my state mains is near but cant study dont know why...everytime i open my book i feel like tired and old horse. On second thoughts i am even planning to change my environment and shift to delhi but dont know will it work or not

  • @Valar_morghulis This was my 3rd attempt too but I already spent 5 years in prep. Failed prelims twice before. And you have reached interview stage in 2nd attempt itself? It is a great achievement. Don't squander it. You have the potential to make the final list. Once you become an officer, you will get the better versions of all the things you have missed now. To top it off, you can do your part to humanise our society from the current rat race culture. Don't give up on studying.

  • @HarryBosch bhai soo good words

  • @Freakhoto Thanks bro. Hard work never goes waste and I hate seeing people like you all who work so hard feel disheartened.

  • @HarryBosch bhai now i feel like a tired horse..No intent to fight. the lowest dip in my energy.

  • @Freakhoto bro I suggest you buy a book called Lend me your ears by William Safire. Available on amazon. It is a compendium of some of the greatest speeches the world has ever seen. Any time I feel hopeless, I read one speech from it. It is a bit costly but well worth the money.

  • @blitzkadu said in What are you doing?:

    @Charlie said in What are you doing?:

    Have given so many bank POs and RBIs and LICs and what not. Failed at all. Sometimes by margins, many a times - specially when it comes to quant in those bank exams - I am almost like not even in race.

    i relate with every word of this. and i realised this was affecting my upsc preparation very badly. because of lack of interest in revising and re-revising for UPSC, i would wander towards other exams. but for prelims you need to internalise the study material. mere mugging up wont be enough. so I always end up on border situation after prelims which affects mains which i havent cleared even once though ive written it twice with a static optional like zoology. so the solution that i came up with was as follows :

    1. narrow down the backup exams to 2 max
    2. never stop studying for upsc - prelims and mains both.
    3. keep appearing for tests. when you force your brain to think it helps in better memory formation and the solution of tests will keep the concepts fresh in your mind.

    another thing i realised was that there are two broad type of exams.. GS related like upsc, state PCS and Banking related exams. If you mix and match them then its difficult for your brain to get used to the requirement of the exam.

    If you continue giving just banking exams over time your speed, accuracy, quant, LR automatically gets better.
    If you continue giving just GS based exams overtime your concepts will become crystal clear.

    Mixing them keeps takes the edge out from your preparation and with at the most 1% people clearing any given exam, you simply cannot hope to crack it without being thorough with the requirements of the said exam.

    What you wrote resonates 99% with me. You can DM me if you wanna talk. I hope what i wrote helps.

    D_HzX-VWwAIn3YO.jpg

    Soorry for hijacking the thread moto

    But all psc/rbi grade b(gs) kind of exam does include quant+Reasoning just like banking exam

  • @Raillife You are right, but for RBI grade B phase 2 doesnt have LR + Quant. Similarly for PSC maths/apti/LR/language is only needed in the prelims stage of which marks arent counted for final selection.

    But in banking exams for PO we have quant/LR/reasoning in mains as well which form a large chunk while deciding final selection. and its of moderate to tough level.

    The point im trying to make is that giving multiple exams prevents the brain from getting 'used to' the type of questions that are asked in respective exams.

  • This post is deleted!
  • @Valar_morghulis there is wise buddhist saying that thoughts creates self inflicted suffering, so don't give importance to every single thought

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